?

Log in

fear lives.

i think that I've finally figured out what "fear" is. the last like, 20 minutes, the fact theat my mom will sometime find out that i've been talking to my dad. and i have to say, i'm fucking scared for that to happen. i'm afraid of jsut talking to her about this whole shebang. i'm afraid that i'll be regected by my family, more then a feel that I already am. i know they'll treat me differently, and i'm fucking afraid of that. i don't even wanna know how merrill will be, especially cuz he's pretty much been my support sysetm for the last 2 years. i'm afraid that my mom will send me to a shrink. or that whenever we get into a fight, she'll start saying "if you hate everything so much, go live with your dad!" again. and now that i know him, i really kinda do want to move away. and that'll just push me away quicker. but i'm kinda afraid that if i ever leave, i'll want to come back.

i don't knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
i'm miserable right now.

Latest Month

February 2008
S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
242526272829 

Syndicate

RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Emile Ong